Mediation Guide

Mediation Tips

Separation and divorce can be difficult, stressful, emotional and expensive.

Even if you and your former partner are relatively amicable, you may still need assistance to work out how to disentangle and split your finances and property in a fair way and to determine what will work best for your children and your family going forward.

The Family Court expects that people involved in family law disputes will only make an application to the Court to have their matter heard when there is no other way possible to resolve their dispute. There is an expectation that people will attempt to resolve their differences and find a way to settle through compromise, discussion and if required, dispute resolution, if it is safe to do so.

Mediation and Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) can help you work through your parenting and financial agreements, resolve dispute and find solutions that provide the best outcome for all parties involved. It can provide an affordable, less stressful and faster method for resolving disputes while still allowing you to have significant input into the process and the outcomes.

An Overview

When compared to the high levels of stress and onerous and unpredictable costs of litigation, mediation is a relatively simple way to resolve disputes, sort out the division of assets and liabilities and create a co-parenting plan that is in the best interests of the children and workable for the parents.

In Australia, both government-funded and private centres offer a variety of options for mediation, depending on your individual circumstances.

The role of an independent mediator is to guide you to a resolution usually through a combination of joint and individual sessions. A mediator's role is to stay neutral and not 'take sides.' They make sure each party understands the issues at hand, is aware of each other's position, and will help find a fair and workable solution.

While the sessions can be held just with the separating couple and the mediator, under certain circumstances, if both parties agree, the parties' lawyers, and/or a support person may attend. Children may under very limited circumstances be involved.

Some mediations may be held face to face, in person, or via zoom, or in certain circumstances, including where there has been domestic and family violence, 'shuttle mediation' can be used to keep the parties separate and in a safe space.

Communications in the course of dispute resolution are, except in certain circumstances, confidential and inadmissible in any court.

What is Family Dispute Resolution (FDR)?

FDR is a special type of mediation that is focussed on considering the needs of the children while helping you come to an agreement. It is often used to resolve parenting matters but property division can also be included in FDR.

Under the Australian Family Law system, with limited exceptions, it is compulsory for separated parents to go through the process of FDR before applying to a Family Law Court for parenting orders.

You can source Mediation and Family Dispute Resolution privately or through government funded services such as Legal Aid, Relationships Australia and other Family Relationship Centres.

What does Mediation and/or FDR cost?

Mediation has varying costs and can take anything from hours to days to complete, depending on the complexity of your situation.

Government-assisted FDR may be free or subsidised if you meet the eligibility criteria.

In most cases, mediation or FDR is going to be much cheaper and faster, and a lot less stressful than battling it out in court.

Our Top Tips to Prepare for Mediation

Learn about the options available to you and what is best suited to your needs and budget.

Prior to the mediation date, a complete understanding of your finances including assets, liabilities/debt, income, superannuation, parenting, child support, and other legal matters will greatly help the process.

Determine Your Priorities

Think about all the issues you may want to consider — parenting arrangements, financial and property matters — before the mediation, and consider what is important to you and why.

Try to keep an open mind and consider what is really motivating your priorities – is it emotionally based reasoning or is it based on what you genuinely believe is fair and in the children's best interests.

Try to Manage Your Emotions

This can be a highly emotional and confronting time. We recommend you reach out for additional emotional support and invest in your own self-care. Get a good night's sleep, avoid excess caffeine or alcohol, eat well, stay hydrated, and ask for short breaks throughout the day.

Be Aware of Your Communication

Mediation is not the right time to express frustration, play games, be aggressive or point score. Approach the mediation as a business meeting and be as professional in your communication as possible. If you don't understand something, speak up and get clarification.

Safety Concerns

If you feel unsafe, make sure you communicate this with the mediator in your initial intake consultation and provide them with any safety orders you may have.

For support preparing for a mediation or family dispute resolution session, book a dedicated session on what to expect and how to best prepare.